Friday, January 9, 2009

My Fertility Stats

These will not be official stats but under or over exaggerated statistics of my chances of
(a) getting pregnant and
(b) carrying a fetus to full term- both very challenging for me/us

If coaches were scouting my team, we would not be in the running for fourth string, nor would we even be in the running for water boy/girl. No game winners over here.
My (our) statistics suck. I haven't gotten to my other installment of my Infertility Story, but I will tell you that I have PCOS, anti-nuclear antibodies (ANA and ANC) that try and kill off new cells a.k.a an embryo, and severe endo (my ovary was fused to my uterus).
We have a male factor problem as well.

I remember when we first started going to the fertility clinic, one of the nurses said to me," I think that you IF'ers (sounds like MF'ers) go to some sort of "fertility mixer" and meet up with one another." It was her way of saying that a lot of patients she sees have both male and female factor IF. At the time I felt relief that she was making light of what seemed like a daunting situation. Now I realize she was just being insensitive.

If we hadn't wasted $20,000 at a hospital that hadn't even diagnosed me properly, we may have tried IFV a couple of more times. But the well was dry. We had to make a decision to spend money where the odds were 99.9% in our favor. Thus, we turned to Korean adoption.

Family planning is still something I think about often. I think about our options. It's weird to say that we do have a lot of "options" but most of them don't interest us such as: donor eggs or sperm, IVF, IUI, adoption of embryos ( have you heard of that yet?) The only option I would put any faith into is surrogacy. I'm pretty sure my body is broken. So, I cannot depend on it to produce a baby. But, maybe someone else's could.

The idea of surrogacy is just a blip in my mind. Right now I am the mother to a busy little boy who is altogether wonderful and beautiful and the sweetest little thing you could imagine seeing.

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