Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Welcome New Readers and My Supporters

I am so thankful to say that roughly 11 months after I started this blog, I have met so many wonderful people. Readers are taking the time to visit and read my posts and COMMENT. Nothing could be more fulfilling.

I am proud to welcome many new readers that are of various backgrounds; their blogs focus on many different things such as cooking, their etsy shops, parenting, etc. My beginning goal was to use this blog as a means to promote Parenthood for Me. I had been blogging prior and absolutely loved it and saw its capability to reach others emotionally and make them feel better. After creating PFM I stumbled across many different bloggers that I now consider to be great friends, and all of them have helped my blog become better and better.
Parenthood for Me has reached this point because of the ALI community or Adoption, Loss, Infertility Community. The gathering place for this enormous group of wonderful blogs is due to Melissa Ford, founder of Stirrup Queens. If you read my blog roll you will find a minuscule number of the blogs on her blog roll. These are women (and men) who have fought or are fighting for the dream of parenthood- the losses are many and the grief is insurmountable. But, boy are these people tough.

If you are a new reader that does not fall in the ALI community, I am so lucky you have found me. I blog about many different things. Some examples are lessons I've learned in life, loss of loved ones, what the future holds, my family, my dog, Lucy and her silly antics. Mainly I blog about what is on my mind that day or week.
Thank you for your support. I am so appreciative. There really is no way for me to fully express how much my readers mean to me. It is so nice to feel like I am writing these words for a reason.

On that note I felt it important to point out something about my post Adoptive Parents Are Expecting Too. Many of the SITS girls who stopped by last week (ya) read this post and mentioned to me that while they learned a lot about the perspective of an adoptive parent, rude comments are also said to pregnant women, stepparents, unmarried women, and child free couples. I am here to acknowledge that I really do understand this. Since going through infertility I have a heightened awareness of just how insensitive people can be when it comes to marriage and children. Our society has created specific ideals, and when you don't or cannot live up to them it is like there is free reign to blurt out whatever comes to mind. While there have been many strides towards openness in our society, we have a long way to go.

I hear you. Why is it that if you are announcing the pregnancy of your third or (gasp) fourth/fifth pregnancy, people tell you you're crazy? Why do strangers feel like they can tell a pregnant woman that she looks like she is going to burst? Why are stepparents treated like they are not viable parents? Why if you are a woman past 30 and not married, people are allowed to criticize your life and choices?

I have learned to chalk it up to ignorance. Feeling like someone says an insensitive comment because they do not understand makes me feel better. If there is no malice, then there is room for education. We can all learn to say something to these comments that is just enough to get people thinking that maybe what they are saying is close minded and hurtful. And, maybe next time they should simply keep their thoughts to themselves. OR word their questions with more thought.
My new mantra: Think before you speak!

7 comments:

Ms. Sarah said...

I agree with your new mantra. It is one I have been working on my boys with and myself.

Chanda said...

So much hurt could be spared if more people think before they speak! Whatever happened to "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything"? Or what about my favorite, "do unto others as you'd have done to you".
What is wrong with people?!

Leah said...

I am so happy I found your blog. I've been following it for a while now. I used to blog about other topics, but now am mainly focused on my path to motherhood through adoption. And what a process it is! It's been so fun to follow your blog because you have so much wonderful insight! :-D

Kristin said...

You have been a great addition to the ALI community and I Am so impressed with the work you have done through PFM.

tireegal68 said...

I love your blog and I think you are a great cheerleader and thoughtful participant and activist in this whole LIFE thing and of course the ALI thing too! Cheers to you!

Kymberli said...

Great post about ignoramus comments. I get them on both sides of the street, being a "subfertile" mom of 4+1.

Stacey said...

Your last paragraph is so true. I have no idea why people can't just think for a second before saying something hurtful/insensitive!

Just want to tell you I think it's great what you do. I'm glad to have "met" you through our blogs!

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