Friday, September 18, 2009

Open Minded

How did I get to be a blogger?
I remember trying to find a good place to sign up for a blog. I tried one other unknown venue and quickly deleted my account when I found goo.gle. "The Fine Print" is my first blog- now closed. I wanted to update family and friends on our adoption. I wanted to provide educational tools and facts. Eventually I began to pour my heart out. At that time I thought that only people I knew were reading, but slowly I discovered that strangers or friends of friends were reading every day. That changed me. For someone who used to be extremely shy and guarded, I did not care that my inner most thoughts were made public. Writing helped me and helped others. I was finally able to explain to many people the hell we had endured for 4 years. I was finally able to rejoice over our pending parenthood.

I have been a writer most of my life. I wrote poetry starting in second and third grade. I was an avid reader of Nancy Drew and many other books. I sat down countless times to write my first novel. I did well in English class in school. But, over the years I stopped writing. I did not have a meaningful place to write except in a journal. About 5 years ago I took over our company's newsletter and thoroughly enjoyed writing and producing those pieces. I took a couple of writing classes and my goal to be published was revisited.

As my blog and readership has grown I have realized that my life is open. Sure, there are many things that I keep private. But, my posts are intimate, they are honest and real.
I am subjecting myself to criticism and hurtful comments. But, I am also subjecting myself to meeting wonderful people, hearing words of encouragement and being told that I am making a difference in someones life simply by writing my posts.

Words are my life. I wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes get overwhelmed with what to do with my emotions. I care so deeply about so many things- it is a blessing and a curse. I have learned some lessons about the writer that envelopes herself in her words. I have learned that once I hit "send" it's out there. Being very open is not an easy thing to do. The mask of the computer makes it easier, but it also makes it easy to forget how many people my words will reach. I have taken a step back to realize that even though my intentions are never to hurt anyone, that sometimes my "thoughts" posted in this blog may make someone else feel uncomfortable. It is my choice to write about my life and it does affect other people.

I have missed blogging in the past 2 weeks. It is plain to see that this has become a huge part of my life. It is an outlet for all of my thoughts. And, I am thankful to have it. Blogging has opened up writing as a career for me. I never thought this would happen. Blogging has opened up a whole new world of people- good people. Thanks to all who read and make me feel appreciated. I would continue to write if nobody read it but my mom. However, thoughtful comments and encouragement keep me going and force me to develop my craft. Knowing there are readers pushes me to have interesting content on all parts of the emotional scale.

7 comments:

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

We missed you. And I for one, know that you've had many posts that have been meaningful for me. SO glad you've found such a positive outlet for yourself! :)

Jewls said...

I love your blog--glad you're back!

The Busters said...

A friend through blogging told me about your blog a few months ago and I have been hooked. I even went back and read several of your older posts. Thank you for your honesty and all the education you provide. I noticed recently that blogging helped me feel connected to the adoptive community in a way I never knew possible and I am so very grateful. thank you!

Annie said...

You are a great writer! I envy how you "have a way with words!"

Keep it up :)

Miss Behavin said...

Well said. And, I couldn't agree more.

Writing has always been a creative outlet for me as well. I've started, and closed, many blogs because I feared what people would think. Not any more! I write because it makes my soul sing. I write to release stress and sort out emotions. I write to keep track of funny things that happen in my life, as well as the lives of my kids.

And, I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself for not closing this one down when my husband's family found it and gave us all kinds of flack for some of my posts.

That is the most difficult part, even now, knowing that people who don't care for me lurk on my blog and assume every post I write has some sort of negative connotation about them hidden somewhere within. It's stifling, at times, but writing - that's what I do!

Kristin said...

I'm glad you are back. You are such a talented writer and I always learn something when I come here.

Anita said...

Also glad you are back! :) I've been catching up on my poor neglected google Reader.

I write for many of the same reasons you mentioned too & I find it more comforting somehow knowing that "strangers" are reading my innermost thoughts, but am glad to know that my family & friends are learning things along the way too! Just not so sure when it comes up in "real life" ;)

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