Friday, February 26, 2010

Limerick Chick 2010

So, I need to re-gain my title as Limerick Chick 2010 hosted by Weebles Wobblog. Here is my winning limerick from last year, as a first time participant I might add. Remember that this blog is about my life as well as infertility and adoption.

I once was scared of the gyno
Now I'll drop my pants for a rhino
When bad times are worse
There's blogs like the mrsch
Or instead I can just be a whino

Here are my entries to keep the title for 2010.

'Cause I'm Irish:

I'm an Irish gal who drinks whisky
Sometimes I go home and get frisky.
When the good deed is done.
Wishing 4 One.
Or at least eat some spam and some latke.

And cause I'm a mama:

Potty training is quite the event.
Every night I am totally spent.
There are days we’re so close.
Cleaning up poop is gross.
And, today he peed in the vent.

C'mon don't you love choices?
VOTE FOR ME. Look to the right to vote starting March 2.

The winner gets to donate $20 to a charity of their choice.
I will be donating to Cara's wonderful non-profit, Share Southern Vermont.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Show and Tell Show Off

For today's Show and Tell I would like to show off my
birthday presents and my Sock It To Me Socks.

The lovely Kym at I'm a Smart One hosts Sock It To Me and I was matched with Elana from Elana's Musings. I love my tri-colored socks. They are another reminder in my every day life of the wonderful ALI community. 2009 was my first year blogging as a part of the ALI community. I began this blog in October 2008 after starting the non-profit. Without the support of this community PFM would not be as successful as it is today. I have also met so many wonderful women that have truly contributed to my quality of life. I have received encouragement, validation and support.

I had a great 32nd birthday. Thank you to everyone who sent me wishes. Here are snapshots of my gifts. I love presents. I do not get to open my open presents or cards anymore because my little birthday crasher LOVES everything about birthday parties.

Chocolate colored U.ggs for the cold and very long Rochester winters.

A lovely shirt from my brother and SIL. I cannot wait for warm weather.

A card from my baby.

A cake stand from MommyL and Kebby. This one of a kind was handmade by taking a pretty plate and securing it to a candle holder.

A very cute bag from BIL and sister-in-law to be.

Oh yeah, and I received some cocktails when friends took me out on the town.

DH and I enjoying ourselves.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Hapy ICLW- February

Welcome everyone. Thank you for visiting.
This Monday am I am watching Curious and sitting with my 2 year old as he attempts to eat oatmeal with raisins and not spill all over his pajamas.
This blog is an extension of the non-profit, Parenthood for Me. Our mission is to provide financial and emotional support to those building families through adoption or medical intervention.
Please see the list of favorite posts. And don't forget to leave a comment!
Also visit our website for more information on the non-profit

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Laugh Lines, Uggs, and Another Year

In one of favorite movies, P.S. I Love You the character, Danny played by the beloved Harry Connick, Jr. talks about how growing old is a privilege. I don't remember the exact conversation but it struck a chord with me. As a society we spend so much time worrying about getting older, preventing the wear and tear the years put our bodies through. What happened to celebrating our age? We should be grateful for every day we have on earth. Every year marks an accomplishment.

Don't get me wrong. I miss my "youth." I long for the days when I sat in la piazza while studying in Italia, drinking a beer at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. But, I am also overall a much happier person than I was back then. During high school and college I worked at an open-air bar on the river where I live. I worked with about 10 friends, and we had a blast every summer. Those were some of the best times of my life as a young person. Now there are different good times and things to make me smile.

For example, having my son sing happy birthday to me this morning. My heart swelled. Thing is, I still feel so young. I could dwell on the fact that I am creeping into "middle age." All these terms that we have for stages in our life. What does it mean, really?

Age is a frame of mind. I aim to focus on all that is good with maturing and living another day. There are so many people who don't get the chance to live a full life, passing away into their eighties and nineties. I think of those in my life who died way too young and those who face severe health issues. They would love to grow old and celebrate another year.

To mark my 32nd birthday I want to list 32 things that are special to me. I want to thank my family and friends for loving and supporting me (and that includes all my I-friends (Internet friends- p.s. article coming up about making lifelong friendships through the Internet).
Thanks to DH for my long-awaited U.ggs. I got them this morning bright and early because we got another 4 inches of snow! My toes are cozy.

Here we go. 32 things that make me happy, define who I am, goals, dreams- all that life is made up of:

1. photographs
2. driving
3. writing
4. my husband and son
5. my family
6. my friends
7. being an aunt
8. shoes
9. blogging
10. decorating
11. poetry
12. music
13. traveling
14. speaking different languages and learning about different cultures
15. Lu, my puppy dog
16. having my Pop's eyes
17. Having many traits of both my mom and dad
18. Working with my father
19. Having parents that have supported me every step of the way
20. being empathetic
21. my struggles
22. my triumphs
23. champagne
24. pasta
25. singing
26. the 1000 Islands
27. surprises
28. receiving letters and cards in the mail
29. my health
30. my values
31. strawberry pie
32. knowing how lucky I really am

Monday, February 15, 2010

Perfect Moment Monday- Trials of Potty Training

Potty training. The ups. The downs. Sticker charts and treats. What an experience.
This past weekend we did not do much but ask Min man, "Do you have to go potty?"

3 minutes later.

"Do you have to go on the potty?"

"Lets sit on the potty. You'll get a sticker."

I went out and bought new underware and pull-ups. We were on a full potty training roll.

He did so well all weekend even doing #2 on the potty which everyone said would be the toughest part. Not for our little man. There were high fives, suckers, stickers, and quarters given out. He was so proud and rightly so. Quite a big accomplishment for a 2 year old.

Today I brought him to MommyL's in underware. This was a first because all weekend he was wearing underware but with no pants to make getting to the potty as easy as possible.
No accidents at MommyL's. Phew.

We come home, he wears a pull-up (I explain that it is not a diaper); nap time it is. However, sleep did not happen. He decided to pull apart his whole room, take off his pull-up and pee on the rug. When I walked in, he handed me a soaked tissue and said," Here, Mom. I clean the pee pee."

What can I say? We're only on day 3 of full force training. We go downstairs for a snack and the underware goes back on. All is well.

I go out to the store and DH texts that Min man peed in the heat vent.

Me- " I guess the honeymoon is over."

Him- "He's now wearing a diaper."

Nuff said.

I walk in from the store and I ask Min man what he did.

He boasts," I pee on the rug. I pee in the vent."

There ya have it. How can I not laugh?

Check out Lori's for more Perfect Moments.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Not To Repeat Myself

I have been an emotional wreck lately- crying at the drop of a hat. They are tears of happiness, being overwhelmed with the happenings in my life. So many wonderful things have taken place in the past year and a half. I became a mother and finally able to live out my dreams of having a baby to call my own.

Through this monumental change in my life I was able to begin moving on from the horribly difficult path of infertility. If you read this blog often, you know that I still have my struggles. But, they are different. The grief I still process is a combination of many things. I continue to sort through the five years of hell, trying to make sense of it, and slowly moving on.

Every day that I have with my son is a gracious gift. Infertility has allowed me to embrace a child that would not have come into my life otherwise. Every tear, visit to the doctor, dollar spent, drug taken, and negative pregnancy test led me to this new life. The old story continues to prove itself to be true. We will eventually figure out why we have been challenged and tested. Time will tell. It is what we do with our challenges that will alter our life.

Happiness and the continued desire to make a difference helped cultivate the idea to start a non-profit. I bought a book, thought of a name and talked to a lot of people. The skills I learned from my father about running a business allowed PFM to run efficiently. This is another lesson that has come full circle for me. I was never supposed to work for my father because I always had other aspirations. It's not that I did not believe in my father's business; I thought that I would make a career with my foreign language skills in a big city far away from my roots. The decision to move home after college was the first step in creating my life's path.

My father is my mentor. He is an incredible business man who has always put integrity first. Through his guidance and advice I have learned an invaluable set of tools- how to be successful. His real estate company is 39 years strong this year. After working with my dad I realized that I have a knack for running a business and marketing. These are skills that I never thought were in me.

PFM has brought so many wonderful people into my life. Lifelong friendships have been made. Respect and admiration have dominated my emotions due to the people I have met since forming PFM. In case you did not notice I am a very sentimental person. I think most writers are. I do not take things for granted. Because I have this innate desire to tell people how I feel about them, I have done a lot of crying because of bonds formed. There are so many people I have met and became fast friends with simply because we have been down similar paths. It is amazing how struggle can align people instantly. Further still it is amazing how similar beliefs will part the waters and bring people together.

I get emotional when I think of all the people pulling for me and PFM. What an overwhelming feeling. I get emotional over my lovely little family. And, I get emotional over all that I believe is in store for PFM and my life from here on out.

Life is short. We are reminded of this time and again when someone special passes away too soon or an unexpected event occurs that changes life completely. I am reminded of the fragility of life and the steady tread of time as each year passes. I want to embrace all that I am given and make sure that I make the most of everything that makes up who I am.

My sentimentality has increased with age because I am not afraid to show this vulnerable side of myself. I would be discrediting who I really am if I did not let my emotions unfold on my sleeve.

From my little corner of the world I feel loved and respected. And, I return the love and respect. The hours that I spend on Parenthood for Me are aimed at helping people. And, when I am able to help, I feel the bounty of emotion that comes with making a difference in someone's life who did not expect it.

Here are the lyrics to my newly found favorite song. The poetry is simply beautiful. I am inspired.

Peace and love.

"We're All In This Together" - Old Crow Medicine Show

Click here for video.

Well my friends, I see your face so clearly
Little bit tired, little worn through the years
You sound nervous, you seem alone
I hardly recognize your voice on the telephone

In between I remember
Just before bound-up, broken-down
We drive out to the edge of the highway
Follow that lonesome dead-end roadside south

We're all in this thing together
Walkin' the line between faith and fear
This life don't last forever
When you cry I taste the salt in your tears

Well my friend, let's put this thing together
And walk the path with worn out feet of trial
'Cause if you wanted we can go home forever
Give up your jaded ways, spell your name to God


All the hour there's a picture in a mirror
Fancy shoes to grace our feet
All there is is a slow road to freedom
Heaven above and the devil beneath


Monday, February 8, 2010

Perfect Moment Monday/ Quotable Quotidian

I relish when I find a new artist or song that really affects me. For me it is usually instantaneous. I hear a song and I absolutely have to download it and listen to it over and over. The lyrics speak to me or the melody is engaging- usually both. I often write to music. There are certain songs (some soundtracks) that get my thoughts in motion every time.

AJ recently found a band called The Old Crow Medicine Show. I don't know much about them but the CD we bought is fantastic. I played the CD on my way to work this morning. Min man and I bobbed and bounced to one of the songs. No doubt he will be singing along with me as we both try and figure out the words.

I absolutely love music. Finding a new artist or song inspire me. Meaningful lyrics inspire me in life. Songs help me enhance my mood, feel emotions, and celebrate.

It's always great to find a new song to sing. Especially with Min man and DH.

Here is a video of "We're all in this together"

"We're all in this thing together. Walking the line between faith and fear. This life don't last forever."

Check out Lori's for more Perfect Moments.

Thursday, February 4, 2010


This has been a tough week. The baby blues are back. There is no rhyme or reason and even though I know to expect this, I am knocked on my ass every time.

I move through this grief in different stages. I feel bad for different reasons at different times.

As Min man grows I am putting away toys, books and clothes. It has been very hard for me to pack away his baby onesies and jammies. I try to be practical and not keep every little thing because I don't want to have all this stuff sitting in my attic on the chance that I get pregnant and it's a boy. Then I decide to keep all the items that can be considered unisex. As I toil over whether navy blue shorts would ever be worn by a girl, I throw them in the "keep" pile.

As I have mentioned before if we decide to adopt internationally again, we would most likely ask for a little girl, but I also know that we would accept any child into our home. We just cannot predict the circumstances of a second adoption.

The dilemma of the unknown. The dilemma of my heart's desire to have childREN. It is very sad for me to think that the baby books, tiny socks, first toys, and sippy cups will never be used by another child of ours.

At what point will all of these items become hand-me-downs? When will we know if we can afford another adoption? When will we release the notion of a pregnancy? When will I give all of my precious childhood dolls and collectible to my 2 beautiful nieces because I won't have a daughter to pass them on to? These are tough questions. And, this week I really wish I did not have to ask them.

Practically speaking I have decided that by 38 I will take measures to avoid pregnancy. But then I switch my thinking. Maybe it will not be a tough decision in the future. I know I do not really need to think about this right now. But I do.

I don't want to seem ungrateful for the amazing gift of my son. It is because of the unimaginable love I have for him that I long to have more children to love to pieces. The picture in my head of 2 or 3 little ones all playing together will not fade. No matter how many times I try to envision a different size family, my mind will not let me. I still think about buying a bigger car so the whole fam can fit comfortably- mom, dad, kids and Lucy.

My personal desire to be a mother of several children is there, probably stronger than ever because of the intense joy I receive from being a mom.

When people say the love you experience for your children is indescribable until it happens to you, they are 100 percent correct. I ask myself if every parent rolls on the ground laughing with their 2 year old. This little boy lights up my life in so many ways. When I am with him I feel young, loved, beautiful, and special. We giggle at bedtime, dance together, sing made-up songs, and revel in each other's company. I look forward to every day with him.

What a complex predicament I am wrapped up in. The range of emotions is extensive but I choose to feel them all and not beat myself up. I do cry a lot still- birth announcements, newborn clothes, the baby carriers, prego pictures, and on...

Our local paper publishes a Babies of the Year edition. It came out 2 weeks ago. There they are, a hundred beautiful babies. I read all their names, their parents names, their siblings names and an intense sadness came over me. Maybe that is what sparked this latest spell of melancholy.

Who knows.

This too shall pass.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Infertility Defined as a Disease

Thanks to Pamela Tsigdinos author of Silent Sorority, I found this article on ASRM.

The World Health Organization has defined infertility as a disease.

Here is a portion of the press release.

The World Health Organization (WHO) and the International Committee for Monitoring Assisted Reproductive Technologies released a new international glossary of ART terminology. Appearing simultaneously in the journals Fertility and Sterility and Human Reproduction, the glossary is an important step towards developing common nomenclature and understanding in assisted reproduction.

Significantly the glossary defines infertility itself as “a disease of the reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a clinical pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse.” This recognition from WHO of infertility as a disease represents a significant milestone for the condition.

What a monumental victory to gain legitimacy in the eyes of the public, health care providers, and numerous other venues of society.

A great step in the right direction for further support of the indelible condition of infertility.


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