Parenthood for Me has partnered with CNY Fertility for our Family-Building Dinner and Silent Auction. Please visit their website to learn about this wonderful organization founded by Dr. Robert Kiltz, MD.
And now for the guest author:
April is a CNY fertility patient who has been on her journey to fertility for approximately three years. April has been sharing candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face. You can find her weekly posts on cnyfertility.com.
Patience has never been one of my virtues, but rather a skill I have been learning and re-learning over the years. In my journey to becoming a mother, I have had to readjust my initial plans. Fellow mothers-to-be, I decided that in April of 2007 we would begin trying to conceive so I would have my baby sometime in the spring of 2008. Then I would be able to take the rest of the school year off. (By the way, I am a high school English teacher.) In my head, the plan was perfect. Then the universe, or in my case, God, decided that I still had a few lessons to learn. In June of 2007, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
There were two questions I had for the doctor when he told me I had MS.
1.) Was I going to die early? and
2.) was I going to be able to have children?
Here I was, being diagnosed with what can be a disabling and debilitating disease, and the second question out of my mouth was if I could still have children. (The neurologist happily informed me I was not going to die early and that I could safely conceive children.) Friends, once we yearn for a baby there is little else that we are able to consider. In telling you about my initial reactions to my MS diagnosis, I simply want to let you know, that I get it – the feeling that maybe I am not meant to be a mother (what a sad thought), that choked up emotion that surfaces when I hear yet another one of my colleagues is pregnant, the tears that well when I begin yet another cycle. I have been trying to conceive for nearly three years and my journey has been a challenging, frightening, and enlightening experience.
Before I finish this week’s guest post, I have an intention for you. Is there anything you can do to embrace motherhood –not simply your motherhood, but motherhood in general? For example, I helped my best friend throw a baby shower last May. When I was telling my mom, she said that must have been hard for me; but for the first time in approximately two years, attending someone else’s baby shower was not an anxiety inducing event. I did not have to lock myself in the bathroom for any moments of escape nor did I have to give myself a pep talk before the event. Instead, I asked the mother-to-be to rub up against me as many times as she could before she left in hopes that her fertile hormones would rub off on my nearly fertile hormones. I sat with a table full of mothers who were discussing their childbirth stories and did not flinch when another woman asked me if I had any kids. Nor did I begin to tell her all about my fertility woes. A year ago, my response to this question would have been a 20 minute life story synopsis. Instead, I just moved on and focused on their stories because, ladies, one day I am going to be sharing my baby news. How did I get to the point where I am able to embrace others’ fertility?
That is a topic for a future post. I hope you will continue to follow my story! I plan to guest post on Parenthood for Me again, but you can also follow me by visiting cnyfertility.com and looking for April’s Journey to Fertility under the Recent News section.
Envision the outcome and embrace all motherhood. We will be mothers!
April all Year
April all Year