Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Guest Author- April all Year

Parenthood for Me has partnered with CNY Fertility for our Family-Building Dinner and Silent Auction. Please visit their website to learn about this wonderful organization founded by Dr. Robert Kiltz, MD.

And now for the guest author:

April is a CNY fertility patient who has been on her journey to fertility for approximately three years. April has been sharing candid stories and a unique perspective on the fertility challenges many women and couples face. You can find her weekly posts on cnyfertility.com.

My Story

Patience has never been one of my virtues, but rather a skill I have been learning and re-learning over the years. In my journey to becoming a mother, I have had to readjust my initial plans. Fellow mothers-to-be, I decided that in April of 2007 we would begin trying to conceive so I would have my baby sometime in the spring of 2008. Then I would be able to take the rest of the school year off. (By the way, I am a high school English teacher.) In my head, the plan was perfect. Then the universe, or in my case, God, decided that I still had a few lessons to learn. In June of 2007, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

There were two questions I had for the doctor when he told me I had MS.

1.) Was I going to die early? and

2.) was I going to be able to have children?

Here I was, being diagnosed with what can be a disabling and debilitating disease, and the second question out of my mouth was if I could still have children. (The neurologist happily informed me I was not going to die early and that I could safely conceive children.) Friends, once we yearn for a baby there is little else that we are able to consider. In telling you about my initial reactions to my MS diagnosis, I simply want to let you know, that I get it – the feeling that maybe I am not meant to be a mother (what a sad thought), that choked up emotion that surfaces when I hear yet another one of my colleagues is pregnant, the tears that well when I begin yet another cycle. I have been trying to conceive for nearly three years and my journey has been a challenging, frightening, and enlightening experience.
Before I finish this week’s guest post, I have an intention for you. Is there anything you can do to embrace motherhood –not simply your motherhood, but motherhood in general? For example, I helped my best friend throw a baby shower last May. When I was telling my mom, she said that must have been hard for me; but for the first time in approximately two years, attending someone else’s baby shower was not an anxiety inducing event. I did not have to lock myself in the bathroom for any moments of escape nor did I have to give myself a pep talk before the event. Instead, I asked the mother-to-be to rub up against me as many times as she could before she left in hopes that her fertile hormones would rub off on my nearly fertile hormones. I sat with a table full of mothers who were discussing their childbirth stories and did not flinch when another woman asked me if I had any kids. Nor did I begin to tell her all about my fertility woes. A year ago, my response to this question would have been a 20 minute life story synopsis. Instead, I just moved on and focused on their stories because, ladies, one day I am going to be sharing my baby news. How did I get to the point where I am able to embrace others’ fertility?
That is a topic for a future post. I hope you will continue to follow my story! I plan to guest post on Parenthood for Me again, but you can also follow me by visiting cnyfertility.com and looking for April’s Journey to Fertility under the Recent News section.
Envision the outcome and embrace all motherhood. We will be mothers!
April all Year


Alex said...

Beautiful post - thank you! I look forward to hearing more from you.

KuKd Chick said...

Wow, I really love this idea of a guest poster - where do I find one of those!!

But moreover, this idea of embracing motherhood in general, and others' fertility. I think this is a key thing to think about. It's sooooo hard sometimes, and I've been on both sides of that coin. I remember after my pregnancy losses, being really embittered by other moms bringing babies to full term. I knew I was being a self-absorbed bee-yatch in doing so ;-) but hey, my feelings were real and I couldn't deny them. But I finally came around to appreciating their "little miracles" and motherhood, as best I could. Now, with a baby due any day now, I'm experiencing both elements again from the others side: some people embracing my motherhood, some not. I don't it against them, the ones who don't embrace. I totally get it, having been their myself. It's a really great question though.

Kitty said...

I am always amazed by people who respond with positivity when life gives them lemons. April, thanks for sharing your inspiring story! I know I can do better with thinking positively and handling my situation with grace. I'm looking forward to reading more about you! :)

Kristin said...

Wishing you much success on your journey.

Rach said...

Thanks for sharing April, it's always interesting to hear other peoples stories and journey.


Heather said...

Ms is rough...

but this was a beautiful post!


Liddy said...

Fabulous post. I should think about getting a guest poster.

My prayers are with you and your MS.

Liddy from
No. 144: the unfair struggle (male-factor, speedskating, life)

Wishing 4 One said...

April a wonderful thought filled post. I too have embraced others fertility, before I got my BFP. It wasn't easy but I felt so much better once I did. I look forward to reading how you did it and it gives me an idea as well for a post someday. Good luck oin your journey my friend.


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