Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Oreos or Maternity Pants

When my 3 year old tells me we have to go the "the Tar.get" every time we are in the car, you know I have a problem shopping at this very appealing retail center way too much.

I have tried other stores like Marsh.alls and Wal.mart, but there just is not the same happy feeling from the brightly colored decor and many different departments where I can indulge in new underware, shoes, holiday housewares, and snacks. What an ingenious concept. I understand the rules of marketing. I am not oblivious to the reason why retailers put end-caps at the register with batteries, gum, water, and hand sanitizer- last minute purchases that we think we must have.

That being said I know that Tar.get is "targeting" women as their number one consumer. This is why the purses, scarves, and clothing are positioned in the first section of the store. After entering the double automatic doors and forging past the $1.00 section of goodies with way too much stuff I don't need, I should go against the grain and turn right- roll by where the shampoo and greeting cards make their humble home.

It never happens.

Today I went in to buy area rugs for my back door. Two mornings in a row of stepping in freezing cold, watery puddles left by my husband's boots in my half awake bare feet are enough for me. This should have been an easy 10 minute trip. Yeah. I don't even lie to myself anymore.

"You're just going to buy the rugs and get the hell out of there."

Nope. I knew that I would do some Christmas shopping for those on my list and for the things on my own list like a cute shirt, decorations, or cookies.

Anyway, the point of my story is that I always look at the clothes when I patronize "the Tar.get." Today was no different. I take my too-big-shopping cart for the one item I am supposed to be buying and wrestle my way through the clothing aisles. Luckily I did not see anything too appealing. Of course, I could have bought something. C'mon that ruffled pink shirt is so cute. New Years? Maybe?

I find myself in the Maternity section which happens to run right into the women's clothing section. What? Is that a given? You're a woman so you might need to buy maternity clothes someday? Bah.

The funny thing is that I didn't stomp on the breaks like I usually do and jet out of there, smoke coming off the wheels of my cart. "Must get out of the prego section."

I kept going. I even looked at the maternity pants and shirts and thought maybe I should buy something "just to keep tucked away." I pondered this thought for maybe 3 seconds when I snapped back to reality and said to myself," Have I lost my mind?"
It's almost like the past 6 years of non-pregnancy torment vacated from my body like an alien invasion of the brain. E. T. are you there? ( E.T. is the most non-threatening alien I can think of.)

Here comes the nostalgia. There was a day when, being the type-A personality, big-time planner that I am, I would have bought a cute maternity shirt to keep safe for when I was expecting. Oh to be 25 again and naive. My younger self never spent one second of thought that having a baby would be such a mind altering, life changing cluster that it has been.

I say cluster in good taste. As much as IF has been the worst experience of my life, it has given me so much that I would never, ever take back. I know that this circumstance was supposed to be part of my life. That isn't b.s. either. I really believe that.

Maybe I should have bought the cute maternity dress. Putting it away in my attic with the spring clothes might not be such a bad thing. What does it represent? Hope?

Our minds have the distinct ability to infiltrate thoughts without our conscious knowledge that inflect and project what could be. It is our psyche and personality that have the ability to deflect these instinctive thoughts and talk ourselves out of possibility.

If the snacks were the first aisle of the store, I probably would have bought a package of Oreo's, found my rugs, and left the store without having a moment where, for one instant, I saw my future pregnant self shopping as I always do but this time for two.


ADSchill said...

Yes...Target. I love that store. I was there today in fact.
And, I indeed actually bought a maternity top. It was cute and I got a small so it fit. I was not going to wait until I was PG to wear it.


Kristin said...

I like that you were able to view the moment as hope rather than getting dragged down by it.

Michelle said...

I love this post. Maybe we should petition Target to put the snacks up front :) It would save us all a lot of pain.

the misfit said...

I hear you. I am firmly (and reasonably) cynical about my chances of EVER having a baby, but still my brain sometimes spins these yarns about me pregnant. It used to do that almost full-time, but I ruthlessly squashed them until I guess my brain is scared even to suggest them. And yet in the last few months, I have noticed them creeping back in on occasion. Must kill pregnancy fantasies...

Alana said...

I too get sucked into spending waaaay too much at the Tar.get!

And kudos to you for keeping a positive outlook!

Amy said...

I know just what you mean! After Liam I was unable to enter into a target for nearly a year. Then I could go, but AVOID the maternity section like th plague. Difficult to do as it seems to bleed into the womans clothing and the nursing bras so suddenly strike out from the normal everyday bras. Wicked trickster!

Three years later I can safely navigate through Tar.get without bursting into tears or suffering a panic attack. And like you I sometimes find my eyes moving toward the cute preggo top, wistfully thinking that maybe again one day...


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