Friday, December 24, 2010

Human Kindness

In the spirit of the holiday season
please take a minute to read this very touching article.
It is an affirmation that love, kindness, and tolerance do change our lives.
I could not get through it without crying.
Click here for article.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

A New Chapter

The first blog I authored was named "The Fine Print." Starting that journal changed my life. After AJ and I decided to adopt I wanted a place to log our journey to parenthood. Eventually the posts became a place to educate on infertility and adoption. Then I found myself pouring out entries about the prior 3 years and all the heartache.
Because "The Fine Print" found its way onto computers of those I didn't know, I felt I had an obligation to continue telling our story- the good, bad and ugly.

The fact that I could write something and give support to another person made me feel useful. It made me feel like my struggles meant something. This all led to the development of Parenthood for Me.

Ideas evolved. The plan unfolded.

I decided to close "The Fine Print" because that chapter of my life was over. I also wanted to protect my son from the exposure of the internet. I chose to tell my story but his story is his to tell. It was hard to end my first blog but PFM was born and I had a new and exciting place to log my thoughts, experiences, and stories of others.

Two years later I find myself in the same position. I will never forget when I found Stirrup-Queens, Weebles Wobblog and countless other blogs. This community has been my saving grace. Without the support of THE blogroll and those who have read my posts, forwarded links, donated to PFM, and commented our organization would not have grown so rapidly. My admiration is in abundance for all of the men and women who have supported Parenthood for Me. My cup runneth over.

However, it is time for Parenthood for Me to stand on its own. My story is no longer what PFM needs but the stories of hundreds of people we will help. Their stories, your stories are what will make people stand up and take notice of PFM's mission- to build families.

This blog will always be here as a forum for education, support, news, and stories. Keep us on your blog roll, remain a follower, forward our link. PFM's blog will simply take on a new format with great things in store like guest authors, a co-author, giveaways, and all the exciting things that our charity will be able to do for people out there who need help.

I will still be around writing about my own experience with adoption, infertility, motherhood and life. Please visit my new blog- Motherhood Meets Me.

I have yet to put up the first post. But, please become a follow and put me on your blog roll. I don't want to miss out any of your stories and I look forward to beginning this new chapter of my life with your support.

Thank you for reading. And thank you for continuing to support Parenthood for Me and following. My dream of making a difference in the lives of those who simply want to be parents or have the family they desire would have dissipated without you.

It takes a village to do a lot of things in life.

Merry Christmas. May you find peace wherever you are in life.

Erica

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Oreos or Maternity Pants


When my 3 year old tells me we have to go the "the Tar.get" every time we are in the car, you know I have a problem shopping at this very appealing retail center way too much.

I have tried other stores like Marsh.alls and Wal.mart, but there just is not the same happy feeling from the brightly colored decor and many different departments where I can indulge in new underware, shoes, holiday housewares, and snacks. What an ingenious concept. I understand the rules of marketing. I am not oblivious to the reason why retailers put end-caps at the register with batteries, gum, water, and hand sanitizer- last minute purchases that we think we must have.

That being said I know that Tar.get is "targeting" women as their number one consumer. This is why the purses, scarves, and clothing are positioned in the first section of the store. After entering the double automatic doors and forging past the $1.00 section of goodies with way too much stuff I don't need, I should go against the grain and turn right- roll by where the shampoo and greeting cards make their humble home.

It never happens.

Today I went in to buy area rugs for my back door. Two mornings in a row of stepping in freezing cold, watery puddles left by my husband's boots in my half awake bare feet are enough for me. This should have been an easy 10 minute trip. Yeah. I don't even lie to myself anymore.

"You're just going to buy the rugs and get the hell out of there."

Nope. I knew that I would do some Christmas shopping for those on my list and for the things on my own list like a cute shirt, decorations, or cookies.

Anyway, the point of my story is that I always look at the clothes when I patronize "the Tar.get." Today was no different. I take my too-big-shopping cart for the one item I am supposed to be buying and wrestle my way through the clothing aisles. Luckily I did not see anything too appealing. Of course, I could have bought something. C'mon that ruffled pink shirt is so cute. New Years? Maybe?

I find myself in the Maternity section which happens to run right into the women's clothing section. What? Is that a given? You're a woman so you might need to buy maternity clothes someday? Bah.

The funny thing is that I didn't stomp on the breaks like I usually do and jet out of there, smoke coming off the wheels of my cart. "Must get out of the prego section."

I kept going. I even looked at the maternity pants and shirts and thought maybe I should buy something "just to keep tucked away." I pondered this thought for maybe 3 seconds when I snapped back to reality and said to myself," Have I lost my mind?"
It's almost like the past 6 years of non-pregnancy torment vacated from my body like an alien invasion of the brain. E. T. are you there? ( E.T. is the most non-threatening alien I can think of.)

Here comes the nostalgia. There was a day when, being the type-A personality, big-time planner that I am, I would have bought a cute maternity shirt to keep safe for when I was expecting. Oh to be 25 again and naive. My younger self never spent one second of thought that having a baby would be such a mind altering, life changing cluster that it has been.

I say cluster in good taste. As much as IF has been the worst experience of my life, it has given me so much that I would never, ever take back. I know that this circumstance was supposed to be part of my life. That isn't b.s. either. I really believe that.

Maybe I should have bought the cute maternity dress. Putting it away in my attic with the spring clothes might not be such a bad thing. What does it represent? Hope?

Our minds have the distinct ability to infiltrate thoughts without our conscious knowledge that inflect and project what could be. It is our psyche and personality that have the ability to deflect these instinctive thoughts and talk ourselves out of possibility.

If the snacks were the first aisle of the store, I probably would have bought a package of Oreo's, found my rugs, and left the store without having a moment where, for one instant, I saw my future pregnant self shopping as I always do but this time for two.

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