Monday, January 3, 2011

Misunderstanding Miscarriage

Awhile back I wrote a post called Misunderstanding Miscarriage.
I am attempting to write another post on the subject and would love your input.

Often times miscarriage is dismissed and not recognized as a significant loss. Did you experience this? Or did you feel support from those in your life?

Many times people to know what to say to a couple who has experienced miscarriage. They either say nothing at all or something that seems insensitive.

What is helpful to those experiencing loss from miscarriage?

I would love to hear from you.
Email me: info (at) parenthoodforme (dot) org


Von said...

Miscarriage is a very significant loss, occasionally regarded as a blessing for someone who had an unexpected pregnancy.If you have fertility issues, aprticularly painful loss and the grieving needs to be taken seriously by all.It takes time, it cannot be hurried and advice about times to wait before trying again are generally nonsense.
It is sometimes a taboo subject, definitely a painful one, with many reminders in life of others' fertility which are very noticeable after a miscarriage.

Alana said...

The people who acknowledged that I was hurting and offered support ("Let me know what you need." "I'm here if you need me." "You can call me anytime," etc.) were very helpful.

Key for me is that people note MISCARRIAGE IS A LOSS! Just as with the death of a loved one (or even a pet) different people grieve in different ways.

Difficulties for me occurred with:
--People who did not understand that my miscarriage was a loss. --People who didn't understand that I very much grieved not just the loss of the child I never met, but also the loss of the dreams I had for that child...and for the future place that child would have had in my family.
--People who said things like, "it was meant to be." "You weren't pregnant very long." "You're lucky it happened early on." Or the worst ever from a co-worker: "This is God's way of making sure you didn't have a baby with disabilities." These comments were hurtful as they had total disregard for my feelings.

Thanks for posting about miscarriage!

Another Dreamer said...

How long are you looking to get feedback on this?

I will email and ask later, when I have a chance, and maybe give feedback if you're still looking for it :)


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